This Is My Life

The snow is falling outside of my window right now, and I'm watching the flakes illuminate as they float peacefully past the streetlight. I wish life were that easy: a careless free fall before softly landing in, simply, the place I'm supposed to land. Perhaps life is that easy though, and I just haven't given it the benefit of a doubt yet. Perhaps I'm right where I'm supposed to be right when I'm supposed to be there. Maybe that's all that life is: constantly being in the right place at the right time, whether that means having a good or bad day. Maybe we're all living in a slump of nostalgia instead of appreciating today as it comes our way. I'll try to live a little differently tomorrow. I'll try to feel like I'm doing what I'm meant to do in that moment. I think I forget to acknowledge each second as an equally irretrievable moment in my precious life. I think I forget to praise each second as a miracle. I think I should stop counting the seconds that tick down the time between classes, the time left on the treadmill, the time remaining at work, and inevitably, the time I have left to live my life. I think I'll start replacing the counting with breathing, and I think I'll stop speaking in "I think's" for a start, and just start doing.

The snow reminds me of picking up the Mission Ridge worker off the side of the road on my way up the hill to enjoy a day of skiing. I remember judging him when he told me he was a high school dropout, and I also remember immediately regretting that judgment as I spent the next ten minutes getting to know this stranger that would soon be exiting my life just as quickly as he had entered. This stranger was so insightful in his bitter contempt for society and it's norms. Without saying a condescending word at my expense, he taught me that I'm living by society's expectations, and for me to be truly happy with the person I am to become, I need to free myself of those expectations and just live. I must not live by my expectations; in fact, I should never live by any expectations. Instead, I should live by my capabilities. I must live to the extent that I cannot live any longer. That stranger told me that he was saving money so he could move to Alaska and simply live. He triggered my decision to travel after graduation, and until that day I will try not to continue school because it is expected of me, but rather because it's what I want to do, it's a task that I want to accomplish, and because it's truly where I'm supposed to be.

I ask you, are you living the life you dream of when you're tucked beneath your safety blanket of a comforter at night, or are you merely living up to the expectations of your life, and not your capabilities? Are you a college graduate who dreams of being a high school dropout living in Alaska? Are you working a 9-5 when you dream of exploring Europe, Africa, and Asia? Are you a parent wishing you were a student? Are you living down the street from your mother when you could be experiencing the bright lights of New York? If you're not where you're supposed to be, then go there, fast, so you can appreciate, cherish, and worship every second of this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity that is living. Don't count down the seconds when you could be experiencing a miracle.

There's my attempt at profoundness for the month. Take it or leave it.